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How can parents of adult children let go of faulty?

How can parents of adult children let go of faulty?

However, if that pattern continues after that age, it leads to bitterness. The child is sensing their independence and wants the freedom to live their life. So only at invitation does a parent of an adult child have the right of voice or opinion. What if they live in your house? Well, certainly there have to be rules.

Can a parent be concerned about their daughter dating?

There are some genuine concerns that parents can have about who’s dating their daughter. But in the absence of tangible “you’re hurting yourself and risking life-long sorrow” reasons? Parents just need to back the fuck up. Good parenting means giving your kids the tools to make good decisions, NOT making decisions for them.

Do You Love Your Daughter’s boyfriend or not?

Personally, I’m really blessed, because I love my daughter’s boyfriend, but I’ve often thought about what I would do if one of my daughters decided to date someone I didn’t approve of. And the truth is that once they’re a certain age there really isn’t a whole lot you can do. You can’t forbid them; they’re an adult.

Why are parents of adult children strained by faulty expectations?

I find it amusing that most parents I talk to whose PAC is strained honestly think their child is ungrateful. The truth is the PAC is strained because the parent has overstepped their bounds. The faulty expectation is that they should always have uninhibited boundaries with their child, no matter the age.

What makes a mother unavailable to her daughter?

Unavailable Emotionally unavailable mothers, those who actively withdraw at a daughter’s approach or who withhold love from one child while granting it to another, inflict a different kind of damage. Be mindful that all children are hardwired to rely on their mothers thanks to evolution.

What kind of problems does my step daughter have?

She has a history of starting trouble between people. And I can tell you that she is very negative and mean in talking about other people. She has a hard time holding down jobs and usually ends up getting laid off/terminated.

What does an attuned mother say to her daughter?

I will quote Judith Viorst because her description of what an attuned mother communicates through gaze, gesture, and word is pitch-perfect: “You are what you are. You are what you are feeling. Allowing us to believe in our own reality. Persuading us that it is safe to expose our early fragile beginning-to-grow true self.”

Do you think your daughter will get help?

It’s just that, stressful as these situations are, coming from a position of love while holding proper boundaries can sometimes break the ice – if, of course, the struggling person truly wants help. I hope your daughter does get help, sooner rather than later. Thanks again for writing.

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